Kim Turgeon
Just Do It
Kim shares how she got started even though she didn't feel ready.
Learn some incredible tips for working with kids (that I plan to use with adults too).
Links from this episode
Contact Kim: [email protected]
Learn more about Kelley Woods: http://www.woodshypnosis.com/
Click here to listen to Kelley Woods' interview with Lani Buess and subscribe to Lani's channel.
Click here to get Freddy Jacquin and Lori Hammond's training which includes The Arrow Technique.
Click here for Freddy Jacquin's Hypnotherapy Book
Click here to join Freddy Jacquin's email list and get the Power Cloaks Kim mentions towards the end of the podcast.
Chris Thompson's "Talking With Toddlers" program: https://www.parentingcode.com/
Here's the ball that Kim mentions she sends to kids when she works with them over Zoom.
Here's an awesome book to help kids with anxiety. Kim mentioned this after the camera stopped rolling.
0 (0s):
If you were haunted and harassed by your own inner critic, if you've ever been curious
1 (5s):
About why hypnosis works
0 (7s):
So well, if you're a seasoned hypnotist, or if you suspect that the inner critic is actually hypnotizing you to hold back from reaching the greatness that you know, deep down is inside you, lean in and get inspired to get out of your comfort zone and create your one precious life with purpose and intention. If you like this show, you'll love my powerful hypnosis audio, the answer room, because it gives you crystal clear guidance and direction and illuminates an ingenious way to make triumphant decisions.
0 (47s):
No matter how stuck you feel or how confused you were. This powerful hypnosis audio is my gift to you. When you go to the imposter monster.com again, that's the imposter monster.com. Don't forget the, the, the imposter monster.com. And yes, I'm done saying it. Thank you. Thank you. From the bottom of my heart for listening. I'm Lori Hammond, and I'm truly grateful for you today.
1 (1m 18s):
Hey, I'm talking with Kim Turgeon. If you listen to my last podcast with band Kendall, you already know that Kim trained with Dan and immediately started using her hypnosis skills to work with children, even though she didn't necessarily feel ready. The imposter monster loves to tell us we're not ready. And I firmly believe that the only way to get past that feeling is to do it afraid. Kim is an excellent person to model this. And I think that you'll love the bonus ideas that she shares for working with kids. There are lots of nuggets in this one. So check out the links below to find many of the resources that we talk about. Enjoy this episode.
1 (1m 58s):
Kim Turgeon is here with us today, and I'm so excited to have her. She and I connected on a zoom FaceTime call a few months ago, and I was so delighted to talk to her. Kim is unique because she mostly works with kids, which is really intimidating to me. So I'm excited to talk to her and learn a little bit more about how she works with kids. And I really wanted to have her here because she's such a shining example of learning some techniques and then getting started. So many people want to wait to get started, wait until they feel ready. And sometimes I think you just have to start before you feel ready. So, Kim welcome. I was telling you earlier, I absolutely love the room you're in.
1 (2m 39s):
It just has an almost magical feel. And I'm so happy. You're here with us. Let's, let's start off just by talking a little bit about the past weekend that we spent together. Thank you, Lori. I'm so grateful to be here. So this past weekend I attended the training that you and Freddie Jaquin did with an
2 (3m 0s):
Amazing group of people. And you focused a lot on the arrow technique and your weight loss without willpower. And it really just one of the biggest strengths of that training was pushing people outside of their comfort zone. I remember tuning in first thing and hearing that we would be put in breakout rooms to practice the techniques. And I felt that pit in my stomach and that anxiety started to build like, okay, you've got this. It's good. And I really, that was just such an amazing experience to take something and move outside your comfort zone in a safe place and practice. Then I remember the first breakout room I was in.
2 (3m 43s):
I was in the middle of going through the script of the arrow and Freddie jumps up on the screen, but it, it really, it was just so incredible and, and a safe place to be pushed, to take some risks.
1 (3m 60s):
I'm so happy to hear that. And then are you comfortable sharing the story? So I think partway through the day, or maybe just towards the end of the day, you had an opportunity to use the arrow right away with your daughter.
2 (4m 14s):
Sure. So later on in that day, I was in a breakout room and all of a sudden my daughter came downstairs, crying. I was done by me. I was done by a bee. So I hopped off the training, run upstairs and ran the era with her. It was like an automatic response that I have, like I have this tool use it. I didn't wear to her pain. Was that an eight? And then afterwards it was down to a one. And sometimes my children can be my, my biggest critics because they worked my middle daughter. Lexi has worked with Dan Kendall who changed me and she'll say, well, Dan, Dan is better than your dad can do this.
2 (4m 57s):
It was so, so nice to have my younger daughters say like, wow, that was amazing mom. And, and it was, it was just a nice opportunity to take something that I was training in and use it actually on Sunday, the day after the second day of the training, I got a call from a parent whose child I had worked with in the past, who is just had hit a moment of panic about going to the beach. And she said, will you, will you hop on with him? So I hopped on to zoom with him and ran the arrow. And she sent me a picture about half an hour later of him in the water.
2 (5m 41s):
And she had put underneath it a caption. I can hear his laughter from here. And I thought, Oh my goodness, I'm just so grateful for you and Freddy you for forgiving me the courage to try and tools to really help families. That makes me so happy.
1 (5m 58s):
Thank you. My main intention going into that training was really to help people understand that if you, if you have that one technique, if nothing else, if you have nothing, but the arrow you're ready to go out and start making a difference in the world. And for everyone listening, I'll put a link to where you can get your hands on the arrow technique. It's something anyone in the world can use. You don't have to be a trained hypnotist. You can learn it in about an hour. And if you're going to be floored, you'll think this is too easy. This can't work. And then you're going to try it and be absolutely blown away. Kim, will you tell us a little bit about how you got started in hypnosis?
1 (6m 38s):
Dan, Dan has already been bragging you up in the last podcast episode, and I would just love to hear from your perspective, what got you started and what gave you the courage to actually begin using the tools after Dan trained you?
2 (6m 53s):
So I am a teacher and I think that's had to be a shift is my identity. I've been a teacher for 24 years and shifting my identity to, I am a teacher too. I am now a teacher and a hypnotist took a lot for me. So I'm a teacher and my daughter who has pandas, which I know Dan spoke about. It's a disorder where strep or other infections cause an inflammation in the brain. And that inflammation changes behaviors such as OCD, anxiety. So I have two children with pandas and they had been treated for about six years now.
2 (7m 33s):
And during that time, I've become a really strong advocate and trying to help families find solutions to manage the behavior and better ways. So my daughter had been treated medically, and I felt like a lot of her pieces that weren't going away were just habituated patterns. She wouldn't get in the car to travel. She had this fear of vomiting when she would get into a car and that was debilitating for my family. And so someone said to me one day, what about a hypnotist? Okay. I will try anything. And what a great idea to step outside the box of traditional medicine that we've been trying.
2 (8m 14s):
And so I found Dan who happened to be five minutes from my house and called him, said, did you, do you know what pandas is? And he said, Oh yeah, he, he seems so confident, little did I know then that we would be on this journey together. But Lexi worked with him and it was incredible and incredible to hear her say just how empowered she felt. Pandas often takes the control away from the child. And one day they can seem completely fine. And then the next day they just can't manage any of these behaviors, emotions. So she did awesome with him.
2 (8m 53s):
And I was so grateful. So we did a podcast, he and I, and another hand his grandfather, and he was flooded with families wanting more information. So he came to me and said, what can I do for you? You brought me so many people. And I said, I want to do what you do. And truthfully, when I was watching Lexi sessions, there were so many pieces that I said, this is so similar to what I do just as good practice as a teacher. And it, it connected so many dots for me. And so when I started working with them and I'm so grateful for the opportunity he brought to me, it really felt natural in so many ways.
1 (9m 39s):
I love that. So did he record his sessions with Lexi and then you were able to go back and watch them?
2 (9m 46s):
No, I actually sat in on the session. There was only one session where she Lexia said to me, mom, I don't want you in here. Could you leave for a little bit?
1 (9m 58s):
That's awesome that she felt comfortable saying that.
2 (10m 0s):
Yeah. Yeah. I
1 (10m 3s):
Believe that modeling someone and apprenticing underneath someone and actually watching a person in action is one of the best ways is perhaps the best way to learn. And so when I, when I was a hairstylist, I, I apprenticed with a master hairstylist for several months before I ever was allowed to work on a client. And we ha you know, we have these things in our brain called mirror neurons. And it's when we're watching someone, our body responds as if we're actually doing the action ourselves. So by you being able to sit in Dan sessions and watch this master hypnotist in, in process, I would think that that just absolutely skyrocketed your success.
1 (10m 50s):
I love that you were able to do that.
2 (10m 52s):
Me too was definitely very powerful. Yeah.
1 (10m 57s):
So how long you start training with Dan? How long did you train with him before you started taking your own clients?
2 (11m 4s):
So that's a good question. I started in June and in September, he said, okay, you're ready go. You can do this. This is just a year ago. And I remember saying, okay, Dan, I'm not sure should we charge like $20 a session? I'm not sure that the value that I, that I have. And I literally remember in September with my kindergarten children doing a growth mindset activity with them and talking about how mistakes do they, you know, do they benefit you? How do they help you grow and change and thinking, Oh my goodness, I need to listen to what I'm telling the children, because it's okay for me to start and to make mistakes and to learn from these and these mistakes that I make will only help me get better.
2 (11m 57s):
So it was pretty powerful too.
1 (11m 60s):
Yes. And I have found that so often when I'm struggling with my own stuff, a lot of people wait to get started because they think they need to get their own stuff under control and have all their ducks in a row and have their anxiety completely solved their depression or their weight issues or whatever it is before they start helping people. And what I found is that as I, as I reach out and I engage and I help other people, it translates over and gives me these aha moments where I can start to use these for myself. And one of my most empowering questions, when I'm struggling with any issue, I'll ask myself, what would I tell a client to do in this situation?
1 (12m 41s):
And it unlocks so many, so many things that I never would have thought of otherwise. So I love that you, the growth mindset is this based on Carol Dweck's work.
2 (12m 52s):
Yes. Yes. So I actually developed a survey that I give children multiple times throughout the year to see how they shift and to show them their shifts. And so I knew I should have done that on myself and my mindset shifted, but it really, like I said, there's so many pieces that are just good practice and working in the classroom that I, that I use when I work with children and out with lucky
1 (13m 20s):
Kindergartners.
2 (13m 22s):
And you know, when you were talking this weekend, you and Freddy were talking about the negative language and how the moment you say a negative, you're your subconscious mind doesn't process that as a negative and you immediately see that blue elephant, but you said, don't see. And in the classroom, we always do that. We say you use walking feet in the classroom. So the language pieces that we often use in hypnosis are just very similar with what good practices with children.
1 (13m 52s):
Yes. So if you tell a child don't run, you're literally making a picture for their unconscious mind of running and it makes them want to do it even more. So when you say what use walking feet that can you people listening right now, you can probably even picture these walking feet, which is, it is almost a form of hypnosis telling them don't run. It's a form of hypnosis to make them run. If you know, I've seen children carrying a big glass of something, and they're paired says, don't spill that. And immediately they're more likely to spill, but when you say carry that very carefully, it, it just our language, our words are so incredibly powerful.
1 (14m 35s):
Hey, do you mostly work with children in, with hypnosis?
2 (14m 40s):
I do. So I think the youngest child I've worked with was six, and then I've worked up to 21. And that, that was another shift for me being, working with teens because I work in a kindergarten classroom and have for most of my teaching career. So taking that leap to work with teens and a bit older was a shift for me. But that's when I, I took in the words of Kelly Woods and like join them in their trans. And, and when I was able to think about like joining them where they are and not getting stuck on having to have a script or a plan necessarily, but find where they are enjoying them to make the changes.
2 (15m 24s):
It just brought me to a place of comfort. And it didn't matter what age was sitting in front of me. I just knew hadn't had to do the work.
1 (15m 36s):
That's beautiful. So you mentioned that when Dan said, it's time to start, you wanted to charge $20 a session, and I can edit this out if you're not comfortable talking about this, but what, what did he have to say about that idea?
2 (15m 50s):
No, he said, absolutely not. Although he did, I just credit, he did give me the leeway to say, okay. So for the first couple, I think it was the first two clients. They were friends that had agreed to work with me. And we did $50 a session for the first, first three sessions. I think it was. And then he was like, okay, now we're bumping it up. And we kept bumping. I mean, you took a percentage and you said, it's okay if you want to keep charging $50 an hour, that's fine. But I'm still taking 50%. So his gentle way of guiding me and saying like, no, that's not okay. And, and I remember him saying, if you put your price, your value too low, then you just look like that new name charger versus Apple brand charger.
2 (16m 36s):
And people want to see that value. So you're worth more in charge more. And I will say that's been a struggle even still. And I think that comes from working in schools and not, we're not working with the money piece. I'm not used to that and not used to putting a value on all that time that I put in. It's just what I do. Yeah.
1 (17m 0s):
Hmm. We talked about that a little bit on the training this past weekend. It's, it's something that I've had a hard time wrapping my mind around. And in hindsight, it's so cool for me to look back and see all the ways that my past has prepared me for what I do now. So I was a hairstylist. And when I first started doing hair, after I apprenticed this master stylist, it was time for me to get on the floor and start, start doing hair. And my hair cut prices started out very low. And the people that came to see me were the most picky. They were the most hard to please. They wanted to come back for a redo, even though I was very well-trained, I was already a great stylist. They didn't see me as a great Silas because my prices were so low.
1 (17m 42s):
And as I progressed up to master stylist, I would go through all these different price, price structures. And it was to see how the clients that I enjoyed the most that I had the best rapport with. We felt like we knew and liked and trusted one another. We're the ones that would follow me up. I had a few clients that followed me all the way from a baby beginner stylist, up five different levels to master stylist, because we just had that connection and the money wasn't the most important piece. And what I noticed is when I started charging a premium rate for my service, that I attracted a completely different kind of clientele, people that were essentially ready to change, that trusted me to do this myself.
1 (18m 23s):
And they would always book their next appointment. Sometimes they would book to next appointments. They enjoyed their time. They would sit down. We had a great conversation. They looked at their hair in the end and they loved it. And I really think that the exact same thing translates over with hypnosis. When we're charging bargain prices, people are less likely to really be invested in their change. They're less likely to see you as the expert. And it's uncomfortable. I'm not saying it's not going to be tricky. I'm actually just about to go up, bump my prices up again because my books are too full. And it's, it is it's a little bit scary. And I think when a person, when you just start to do it, when you start to act before you feel like it, before you feel ready, you start to see the results that come from from charging, that premium rate, you see that you're actually helping people more and it makes it a little bit easier.
2 (19m 16s):
And I think you saying the rapport piece, that that's one thing I found that once I built that rapport with the child, they don't want to stop seeing me. So that kind of Steve said, and parents that are like, okay, well, okay. Anything because the success you're having is amazing. And my child really connects with you.
1 (19m 39s):
Yeah, I think so often when people say they're not ready to invest, they don't have enough money. It's because we haven't done an adequate job of helping people understand the value they'll receive. And for, for you to have the kids saying, I want to go see, Kim is just amazing. Do you work with the parents in any way? When they, when they come in, when they bring their child.
2 (20m 2s):
So I usually the first session we'll talk all together, but I really have just made this, the child space. And I haven't had parents sit in on the sessions. I really focus on that. This is the child's experiences. And I say that to parents and we can set goals together, but I need you to know that when I'm working with your child, they're, they're driving this. And I will say to the child in the beginning too, before we start our work, I need to know you want to do this. I won't do this work. If it's just mom and dad that want this change and want this for you, it really, I need you to be the one that wants this.
2 (20m 44s):
And I'll say, if you decide right now, you that's okay. And you can come back when you are ready to do this amazing work together. And, and I think it just empowers children in so many ways that they don't, they have such little control in so many places that having that empowerment and me say to them, like, I believe in you, and I want this for you is, is incredible.
1 (21m 13s):
That is just amazing. I w I would think that that would immediately just to give a child autonomy. I think so often children feel like they're at the will of all the big people around them. And so to give them that empowered perspective has got to be incredible. Have you ever had a kid say, Nope, I don't want to do this.
2 (21m 32s):
No, I haven't had that happen. And I haven't, I've also kind of held my breath a bit and like, Oh, this could really put parents in a bad place. Maybe the parents will be upset hearing that, but they haven't. They really think they respect that. And, and anyone who's seeking out a hypnotist for change is really ready to shift it and try something new. So, especially if it's their child, cause it's definitely more outside of the box than even I was thinking when I was looking for a solution for behaviors. Yeah.
1 (22m 9s):
Yeah. You mentioned that you work over zoom. How can you tell me what you notice that's different between working in person and over zoom?
2 (22m 18s):
Yeah. So that was another shift for me. I remember Dan saying, you'll love being on zoom and you saying, no, I won't, I don't know how to do this. I'm so hands-on and I, when I work in an office, I'm on the floor and on a blanket and we're coloring and I said, Oh my goodness, I don't know how to transfer this to online, but there's just different benefits to being online. I think children feel a different level of anxiety or lessened anxiety when they're in their own space. So I'm starting at a different entry point in that that having to see the office and be in a new room and that uncomfortable piece is taken away and they're in the comfort of their own bedroom office or their house.
2 (23m 3s):
And they feel at ease. And they're also so tech savvy more so than I am that immediately they have something they can probably teach me. So I'll use that to connect with them. And I remember too watching Kelly Woods talk on Jason Lynette's podcast about using the tools and shared screen and drawing on the whiteboard. And so I've really had to think outside and learn some new tools for how to engage in some of that hands-on work that I do with children, but it really it's been, it's been amazing.
1 (23m 40s):
It makes me so happy that you talked about that because I think often we have these limiting beliefs doing new things about taking new steps and you were such an inspiration that you, you were doing this, you had these limiting beliefs about working on zoom and you did it anyway. And you started to find the advantages to that as well. How did, how did you experience that shift and find a willingness to try it anyway?
2 (24m 6s):
No, it was really little by little and I remember two thing, like I can't, I can't use any phenomena on zoom and I think that was a last piece that I brought in because I was so afraid that if I tried it didn't work, what do I do next? And if I, if I have them put their arms out and do the balloon levitation and their arm doesn't go up, it's harder to shift. So I started simple. And when we did the magnetic fingers this weekend, I had to chuckle because that was the first one that I used on zoom as well with children. Cause I knew like, okay, there's very little room for this one to go wrong.
2 (24m 49s):
Let's use it. And I also, again, I just had to broaden how I thought. So I do a lot with the bilateral stimulation that Melissa tears talks about and trying to use as a pattern interrupt. So I remember sending a package to one of my clients. I have to have them have this amazing ball that I use that I really like for children to use when we do it. So I sent it in the mail to them so they could have some tools to use. And I think there's also that connection piece when you get something in them now, and you're excited about it. It just helps to drive that enthusiasm.
1 (25m 30s):
I love that idea. Sorry, go ahead.
2 (25m 33s):
So I think sometimes thinking that way about like, well, what can I set them up with ahead of time to build curiosity and they get this crystal ball and the man, like, whatever you getting to it's that yeah.
1 (25m 48s):
You don't have one of those balls handy in the space where you are, do you?
2 (25m 52s):
I am so sorry.
1 (25m 53s):
Is it something you can order an Amazon? Maybe I'll put a link.
2 (25m 57s):
Yeah. I can send you that. Yeah. I'm on Amazon.
1 (26m 2s):
I really liked that idea. I F I feel like I might even steal that from you because there's, there have been times when I've thought even it's actually a really cool way to anchor a person to an experience of a pleasant experience to you. So when they, every time they see that ball, they're going to think about you and think about how much they enjoy that. So it's almost like this, a rapport builder in and of itself and something that keeps you front of mind and keeps the change that they experienced during the session front of mind, even if they don't consciously look at it, just that being in their environment and then them unconsciously noticing it. It's going to be a reminder of the changes that you, so that is, that's a really fantastic idea.
1 (26m 46s):
I love this. This is, this is why I love doing this podcast. Tell me a little bit more about how has your family adapted to the idea of you going from teacher to hypnotist. And are you doing, you can answer these in whatever order are you still teaching and doing hypnosis both together?
2 (27m 5s):
Yeah, I'm doing both this summer is a little bit easier because I'm home. Although I will say my family has had a harder shift in the summer because they're used to me being home all the time. So anytime that I go, anytime I go into the basement and it's been, you know, their space too, you can hear the dog downstairs. It's been challenging, but the idea that moms are working right now, if it is hard for them. But I think for the most part, they've, they've really been so supportive. I think sometimes they they've gotten to the point where they'll overuse me.
1 (27m 48s):
I
2 (27m 48s):
Have a headache. Can you have to test me, mom? I'm worried about, about going to dance today. Can you, so I get both ends of the extreme either. They want nothing to do with it, or they really want me to help them.
1 (28m 3s):
And you're teaching them self-hypnosis before long they'll be able to, to use this all on their own.
2 (28m 9s):
So Lexi says that she says she hypnotizes herself every single day, honestly has been an amazing teacher to have both, to have Dan direct with, and then work with me. She'll give me ideas. Or the other day I do a lot of them reverse metaphor with children where their subconscious creates the story. And they have, we pull out the metaphors from them and Lexi was reading over one of the stories a child had done with me. And she said, mom, this is amazing. You should teach to Dan sharing, you know, but it's, it's incredible to have Lexi be able to give me that feedback.
2 (28m 49s):
Yes. How old is she? She's 13. Okay.
1 (28m 53s):
And your other child. So I have
2 (28m 55s):
A 15 year old boy, Joshua 13 year old Lexie and 10 year-old Marissa. Okay.
1 (29m 0s):
Hey. Wow. Those are amazing ages for them to be so engaged in this and, and probably they're there at least at an age where they can, even, if they don't like mom being in the basement, doing the zoom sessions, they can deal with it. Will you, and again, I can edit this out if you're not a hundred percent comfortable with it, but would you explain to us, walk us through the process of the reverse metaphor? Because I, I have an idea what you're talking about, but I would love to know more so,
2 (29m 26s):
So, and I'm not sure that I do it the way Kelly would stuff it, but when I'm trying to teach children to take a habituated pattern and be able to shift out of it, to really go through that and that a pattern recognizing what the behavior is and try to stop it in its tracks, children learn through having kind of automatic processes. So I took that shift and use the acronym reset. So R is always recognize what you're feeling and become more like self-aware E is evaluate. So zero to 10. Where do you feel that anxiety, that theme, where is it? And then the S is always this shift. And that's the activity that changes via bilateral stimulation or breathing or EFT type of activities.
2 (30m 12s):
Then he re-evaluate and T try it on or try again, depending on where that number is. So I often start with that and then whatever shift activity we've done, I'll say to the child, and it tell me a story. Let's tell a story and they'll take what I've taught them for the tool and just embed it into an amazing story. And oftentimes it'll start in a third person and then it shifts to the first person and they'll start saying, you know, and I, I had a little girl that will the story about her fear of mom and dad leaving. And when she had that start, that fear start to build, she's not a brain, a big blue brain pop in her head saying, run, run, like you're gonna throw up, you're gonna throw up.
2 (31m 3s):
And we created the image of this heart, that big red heart with arms and legs that could hug. And it would say, she's fine. Go away. Now. She's fine. Go away. And as you said, it, the brain would shrink until it popped. Girl created this amazing story about her parents going to the grocery store and the brain popping up and saying this and the heart getting rid of it, eliminating it. So then I take that and I make it into their audio so that they can really listen to it. And it just becomes their, their mindset and what they hear.
1 (31m 41s):
Wow. I am so glad that you're here today. I'm learning from you. One of my favorite books is Kelly Woods and Melissa tears book, integrative hypnosis for kids and teens. And I read through that. And even though it's written in the context of kids and teens, I use this stuff with my grownups all the time, because I really believe when we can access that childlike imagination. And everyone can, even though so many people have this limiting belief about it, when we, when we really tap into imagination, we are speaking the language of the unconscious mind and shifts happen so quickly in that context.
2 (32m 21s):
No, I agree. I love that book. One of my favorites. Yeah.
1 (32m 25s):
When you learned from, does Dan work with very many kids?
2 (32m 30s):
Now? I work with most of them that come through his office, but he, he does have a, a large percentage that he was working with. Okay.
1 (32m 38s):
So did he train you for working with kids or is it just you learn those tools? You're a kindergarten teacher and you just meshed those two together.
2 (32m 46s):
Exactly. I would say, you know, he trained me in just general working with more so with adults and then gave me the resources that, you know, look up Melissa tears, look at Kelly Woods. And I remember in the very beginning after I read the book, integrative hypnosis by Melissa and Kelly, I remember reaching out to Kelly just to have a conversation. And then afterwards saying, Oh my gosh, do I think I am reaching out? She must be laughing at me. Here's this teacher who has been a hypnotist for less than a year. So when you talk about the imposter syndrome, I immediately was like, Oh my gosh, like, I don't know if I'm worthy.
2 (33m 29s):
Maybe she won't want to talk to me, but she's just, she's been such an inspiration. And in the child piece, working with children and being able to think, and let myself have that flexibility to not have a script in front of me, but really trust and, and join them. And so taking her in and Dan and combining them has really given me the tools that, that I've needed.
1 (33m 57s):
Beautiful. So I have two takeaways from what you just said. The first is that you, in my mind, you were probably doing kind of what I was doing, where I was thinking, how can I make this work over zoom? You were the whole time likely thinking, how can I make this work with kids? And then the second thing that I love about what you just said is that you reached out to Kelly Woods and then thought, who am I to reach out to her? So often we tell ourselves this story that you were, we're not good enough. We're not worthy, we're not ready. And when you just start taking this bold action, and just, this is I'm loving so much about this interview is that you have taken action before you're ready before you feel like it.
1 (34m 38s):
You've been afraid and you've done it anyway. And especially with reaching out to people that you look up to, I think that's a really valuable thing. If there's anyone on this podcast listening, and there's someone that you've wanted to reach out to, and you're not sure that they'll respond, I encourage you to do it because what is the worst thing that can happen? Maybe they never see your email. They never respond. And then you're in the same place where you are right now, where you're not interacting with them, but there's a chance that they will. And this, I love this because when I read Freddy Jacqueline's hypnotherapy book, I listened to it on audible. And it just, it was life-changing it really cemented so many concepts of hypnosis into my mind in a way that helped me feel more, more brave moving forward.
1 (35m 29s):
And I really wanted him to know how much it impacted me. And I thought, he's probably never going to read this. He's never going to see this message, but I, to tell him anyway. And so I sent him a Facebook messenger message and he and I started talking and we now have this great relationship. And we just finished this training together. And I consider him just like an amazing mentor. I've learned so much. And his friendship has impacted my life in a really profound way. So you never know, instead of saying, what if, what if they don't like me? What if they don't respond, start saying, what if something really amazing happens from this and our questions?
1 (36m 9s):
So the way we think about things are really powerful.
2 (36m 13s):
I remember listening to Dan's podcast with you yesterday and hearing him say like, we're all still learning and it's so true. And if we can just learn from each other, how powerful it is and the gifts that it brings to our work with others. Yes.
1 (36m 28s):
I absolutely agree, Kim, this is so awesome. Is there anything that I haven't asked you or anything that you're thinking about that you'd like to share with the audience?
2 (36m 37s):
I would, I do in terms of working with children, I don't know that others don't do. I feel so natural to me. So when people will say to me like, Oh my goodness, you work with children. That must be so hard. I think, Oh my goodness, to work with adults, that gives me such a challenge. It just working with children feels like so natural to me and where they are in the state of trans. So often throughout the day, maybe that's been a piece getting past that misconception of what trans is. And the idea of, I definitely had this fear of my other identity.
2 (37m 19s):
If families of the children, who I teach, learning that I'm a hypnotist and how that could possibly negatively impact how they see me as a teacher. I think hypnosis can sound scary to parents if they don't know. And aren't educated in what it truly is and looks like, and being able to share with parents that children are in trans naturally, we all are, but children especially just go in and out of trans and very natural ways. And that also is the reason for them to watch the language they're using with their own children. I think I haven't done a training with parents yet, but I really am looking to, to create a training for parents on some of these tools, like using the positive language and ways to help shift their mindset when their child's anxiety starts to though, before they hit that panic.
2 (38m 15s):
How can we do that?
1 (38m 16s):
Yeah. I know Freddy Jacqueline has a chapter in his book where he talks about kids and Chris Thompson, who is Mike Mandel's business partner has a, I think it's called toddler talk where he teaches people how to use these tools to in child-rearing. And I'm planning to get that for my daughter gave birth to my first grand baby about five months ago. But yeah, I think that'd be an incredibly valuable resource and something that people would be, would lean in to consume. I'm actually really excited to put your contact information beneath this podcast, wherever you're listening, because I think people it's, it's hard to find people that feel really comfortable with kids.
1 (38m 59s):
I've done two sessions with kids and I was, I felt like they were terrible. It is not my forte.
2 (39m 8s):
You know, I think if I had to give one piece of advice to people who really aren't at that comfort take what you do and see if you can make it concrete in some way. So like, here's an example. I remember Dan saying to me, well, for your breathing, just make sure your breath is shorter than your breath out. I think he like, okay, but for a child, they need something more to latch onto. So I call it rectangle breathing with them and they literally will draw the line. Oh wow. I'm having them breathe to see the visual. And then I'll add, we'll add in words to it to fill that space in their, in their mind. So, you know, I breathe in calm.
2 (39m 50s):
I breathe out all stress and, and we'll add pieces so that when they're they're lying there and that they can either have a rectangle on the wall that they can look at and we'll remind them to go back to that. So take what you do and just try to make it concrete in some way. Well, I had another connection with this weekend when you were talking about the tiny habits and, and changing things a little bit, take something that you do often during the day and anchor it into a change, a shift in a habit you want to make. And I give children a bracelet, one of the shopper bracelets with the colors of the rainbow.
2 (40m 30s):
So when I want them to practice, say the breathing, I'll say throughout the day, start at red and you're going to go through the rainbow and practice then. And it's a way to make it something that they stay faithful to. And it's there as a reminder with them. So throughout the, all the colors, one time you'll practice your rectangle breathing. Oh, how about the tools? Just make them concrete guys. So cool.
1 (40m 57s):
What a treasure of advice. This is just amazing. Is there anything else, any other tools that are especially effective in your sessions that you'd like to share with us? Any favorites?
2 (41m 9s):
I also, I always have Mondalez or other coloring sheets and we'll let them choose which one speaks to them. So I often in-person well color on zoom. I've shifted to the two I'm using the whiteboard for sharing, and then I'll often have them create. And I know also Kelly Woods has used a lot of like draw, create remote control that will, that you'll use as your super tool. And so I, I took that piece and I will have children draw their power tool that they have, or what does your I've adapted some of the power cloak from Freddie Jacquelyn's and I'll have them create, have the child create, what does your Pat, your cloak lookalike, your cloak of confidence or your, your cloak of peace.
0 (42m 4s):
This has been so amazing. I'm so grateful that you were here today. I feel like you said so many things that are going to resonate with people who are brand new, who are wanting to be bold and start using the tools. And I love again, the example you set, where within minutes of learning the arrow technique, you use it with your daughter. You probably didn't get the words just right. I bet you forgot some things. There were, it was imperfect and it get, it brought her pain from an eight to a one. And you told me later that it stayed there, it, the pain stayed gone, and then helping the little boy on the beach. You, you are truly an inspiration. And for anyone listening, I want you to know that if you've been waiting until you're ready, if you've been waiting until it feels comfortable, there is no better time than right now.
0 (42m 50s):
You are ready right now. And there is so much beauty, the magic, all the magic happens outside your comfort zone. So whatever that scary thing is that you've been thinking about doing, I challenge you to what would happen if you did it today, what's the worst that could happen. And if that happened, could you handle it?
2 (43m 9s):
Well, I am just so grateful to be here today and reach out. You know, I think we do. We all need to take that risk and reach out and support each other, and we can learn great things from taking that step and asking each other to share. So thank you so much.
0 (43m 29s):
Thank you for being here and have an amazing, amazing rest of your day. I hope you loved this episode. Thank you for listening. In addition to Kim's contact information below, you will find how to learn more about Kelly Woods, as well as a link to an amazing interview between Kelly and Lonnie beause. If you haven't already subscribed to Lonnie's YouTube channel, I highly recommend you do so you can find the link below, have an amazing day. I'm so grateful. You've listened all the way to the end. What is one tiny action step you'll take now based on an aha moment you got during the podcast, maybe that life changing action step is to come accept the gift I have for [email protected].
0 (44m 19s):
Head there right now to get your powerful, hypnosis audio, the answer room that lets you make important decisions and get crystal clear about your next step forward on this path of purpose in your one. Great and precious life.
